If I’d Known Then
By Mitchell Schuckman, PCC | Founder, The Schuckman Group
When I First Heard It
I’ve heard this phrase for as long as I can remember, almost like it wasn’t meant for me.
“If I’d known then what I know now.”
It came from grandparents talking about work and money at the kitchen table. From my parents, usually when they were reflecting on big decision points that shaped our family. I heard it from senior executives I worked for, late in the evening, when the office had emptied out and they were offering advice that felt more personal than professional.
When I was younger, I didn’t dismiss it. I just didn’t take it seriously. I was busy aspiring. Focused on momentum. Trying to prove myself and build a career. To me, that phrase sounded wistful, like people near the end of their careers (or their lives) looking back and wondering how things might have gone differently.
It didn’t feel like guidance for someone in motion. It felt like reflection for people who had already arrived.
So I nodded, filed it away, and kept going.
Why I’m Saying It To Myself Now
These days, I catch myself saying it.
What I mean now is very specific. What I know now is that focusing on growth, learning, experiences, and thoughtful observation is serving me incredibly well these days. Paying attention. Reading widely. Listening more closely. Staying curious, even when there’s no obvious short-term payoff.
I see it in small everyday moments. On long walks where ideas connect in ways they never did when I was rushing. In coaching conversations where the real progress comes only after we stop chasing a quick transactional answer, and begin transforming approaches. In meetings that go well not because I pushed for an outcome, but because I was present and attentive.
Looking back, I can see how much of my earlier career was spent chasing roles, promotions, and raises. I’m not embarrassed by that. It’s a natural part of building a career. But I can also see how that focus narrowed my attention. It made everything feel urgent. It left less room for reflection, observation, deeper learning, and real growth.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth. I don’t think I got those promotions or raises any faster because I chased them so hard. If anything, I suspect I would have been just as successful, maybe more so, if I had weighted growth and learning more heavily and let the outcomes follow.
That’s the “if I’d known then” moment that keeps showing up for me now.
What I’d Offer To People Still In It
This is where I want to be very clear. I’m not suggesting that people stop aspiring. Ambition matters. Wanting more responsibility, more impact, more opportunity is healthy.
What I am suggesting is a shift in weighting.
If you weigh transactional goals, promotions, raises, titles, as the primary filter for your decisions, you add pressure to everything. Every meeting matters too much. Every choice feels loaded. Learning gets narrowed to what feels immediately useful.
If instead you weigh growth, learning, experience, observation, and perspective more heavily, something different happens. You grow faster as a person. Your judgment improves. You show up with more steadiness and credibility. People trust you more.
And almost without exception, the transactional goals still happen. Often just as quickly. Sometimes faster. But with far less strain and more personal growth.
If I’d known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have been less ambitious. I would have been more intentional about what I was optimizing for. I would have trusted that becoming a better professional and a better human was not a detour from success, but the most direct path to it.
That’s what I’m trying to pass forward here. Not advice. Not nostalgia. Just perspective, offered early enough to be useful.
Because when you focus on who you’re becoming, rather than what you’re chasing, the outcomes have a way of taking care of themselves.