The Beautiful Gift That Coaching Has Taught Me:
The Power of Seeing Others And The Joy of Being Seen
By Mitchell Schuckman, PCC | Founder, The Schuckman Group
A Moment That Shifted Something
Every coach has moments that stay with them. Not because the situation was dramatic, but because something real surfaced. I had one of those moments recently with a client who had been holding more than most people realized. They looked steady on the outside, as many high-performing professionals do, but underneath they were juggling a mix of work pressure, family responsibilities, and the quiet fear that they were starting to come apart.
As they talked through a situation that had been weighing on them for months, the tone changed. Their voice softened. The polished answers disappeared. They paused midway through a sentence and said they weren’t sure why their emotions were rising up at that moment, as they wiped tears from their eyes. It wasn’t a breakdown. It was a release. They were letting themselves be honest in front of another person after months of carrying everything quietly.
I didn’t try to guide the moment anywhere. I didn’t rush to a question or steer us toward a takeaway. I stayed with them and let the moment unfold naturally. When they finally spoke again, they said it felt like I saw them. Not the version of them they show the world, but the person beneath all the responsibility.
Later that evening, they sent me an email thanking me. Not for advice, and not for solving anything. They were grateful for the experience of being seen, heard and understood. They said how comforting it felt. That moment stayed with me. It reminded me of something I have understood for years, but had never articulated so clearly. People want to be seen. It is a simple truth, and it is often missing in the places where we spend most of our time.
What It Feels Like to Be Seen
If you look back on your own life, you can probably remember the few times someone really saw you. They weren’t scanning for the next opening to speak. They weren’t rushing to fix things. They were paying attention in a way that made you feel understood. When that happens, something inside you settles. You feel steadier. You stop performing and start being honest. You breathe differently.
That’s what my client felt in that session. The emotion wasn’t about the problem itself. It was about being known. I have felt that myself at different points, with coaches, mentors, and with my wife. Frankly, I wished it happened much more often. When someone sees you clearly, it clears away noise you didn’t realize was there. The connection is quiet, grounding, and deeply human.
That moment reminded me how rarely this happens in the day-to-day rhythm of work and how powerful it is when it does.
Why It Shows Up Most at Work
This is not a leadership issue. It is a human issue. But work is the place where it fades the quickest because everyone is moving fast. People are focused on their own deadlines, their own pressures, their own need to demonstrate value. They listen selectively because their mental bandwidth is limited. They rush to provide solutions because solving feels productive. They rarely slow down long enough to understand the person in front of them.
None of this is intentional. It is simply the pace many professionals live in.
But something important happens when people feel unseen. They become more guarded. They offer the edited version of themselves. They pull back. They become careful with their words. They stop sharing the moments that would actually deepen trust.
The opposite is also true. When people feel understood, even briefly, they show up differently. They think more clearly. They engage more openly. They take risks. They reconnect with the confidence that has always been there. I saw this immediately in my coaching client. After that session, the way they approached conversations shifted. They had more clarity and presence because the weight they had been carrying was acknowledged instead of ignored.
A Skill Worth Practicing
I don’t see myself as an expert at this. That coaching session reinforced how easy it is to let your attention drift toward your own thoughts or your instinct to help. It takes discipline to slow down long enough to really see someone. It takes awareness to stay focused on them rather than moving the moment back toward your own perspective.
Since that session, I’ve tried to be even more intentional. I’ve been listening more closely, noticing the pauses, and giving people space before jumping in. I’ve been trying to do this not only in coaching but in everyday interactions, because the truth is that those moments matter just as much. Seeing someone clearly is one of the simplest and most meaningful gifts we can give, and it rarely requires anything more than genuine presence.
It’s not about fixing. It’s not about insight. It’s about attention. When people feel attended to, everything else becomes easier.
The Joy of Being Seen
There is another side to this. Seeing others matters, but so does letting yourself be seen. Many people who support others professionally or personally rarely allow themselves that same experience. They are the ones people rely on, the ones who carry the load, the ones who pride themselves on staying steady. They don’t often give themselves permission to share what they’re carrying.
When someone sees you clearly, it can be grounding in a way that’s hard to describe. You feel lighter. Your thoughts settle. You reconnect with what matters. I’ve experienced this in my own life more than once, and it has shaped both how I coach and how I want to show up in my relationships. It reminds me that being seen isn’t a luxury. It’s a source of strength.
This is one of the reasons coaching is meaningful for both sides of the relationship. It creates a space where being seen is possible and hopefully inevitable. When people feel understood, they are more open to reflection, more willing to explore the truth, and more able to move forward. The human connection drives the work as much as any coaching tools ever will.
An Invitation to Slow Down
If there is something I hope people take from this experience, it is the value of slowing down enough to see the people around them. Not scanning for what they need. Not rushing to solve what is presented. Just seeing them. Noticing what they might be carrying. Paying attention to how they show up.
It also means giving yourself permission to be seen from time to time. That is not a weakness. It is human. It brings clarity and connection, and it makes the next steps in your life or work feel less heavy.
The client who cried that day didn’t need a solution. They needed a moment of connection that allowed them to feel understood. That moment shifted the direction of our work and reminded me of a simple truth. Seeing others matters. Being seen matters. And when the two come together, something important opens up in the conversation, in the relationship, and in the people themselves.
It is one of the most beautiful gifts coaching has given me, and one I hope to give more freely and receive more openly as I move through this next chapter.